I sure don’t question — and never have — mothers having their own Special Day on the calendar. Even before I became one. In fact, the mostly-selfless job of ‘mothering’ deserves daily recognition, IMO. This year the whole concept of moms as the ultimate nurturers is unfolding differently for me. Aside from reflecting on the important women in my life, I offer silent and humble gratitude to all tirelessly caring & compassionate people on our planet. This year, Mother’s Day includes my reflections on the mostly-unknown individuals who — through their words and actions — have nurtured my heart and spirit through the most perilous times in memory. The Real “Essential Activities” for Today
It’s been a year – or more — unlike any other in my life. Fear, rancor, isolation, and mistrust in my personal encounters and news feed. The awareness of the heavy, unimaginable grief of many thousands of people who lost loved-ones to Covid. ‘On top of’ the pandemic, the atmosphere of 2020 in the U.S. has been one of apprehension, uncertainty, instability and focused anger. Self-care is the only kind of nurturing I feel like I’ve had the strength for. What I’ve Learned During the Pandemic
The media made sure that I’m aware of just how fractured my world has become. I’m drawn to the videoed flashpoints like a moth to a flame, knowing in my heart I need to just stop. Or at least take a break. But that’s so hard to do.
Which is why Mother’s Day feels – to me, anyway – like it needs to be a different kind of meditation this time. It isn’t just the reality that motherhood, in the literal sense, is not currently trending with potential moms. My needs connected to this word have evolved. Out of pure necessity. During crisis-moments in 2020, wrapped in a blanket and watching events of the day on the evening news, I craved mothering. Nurturing. Reassurance. But I had to improvise, without a mother of my own to turn to. Seeking ‘better’, not a return to ‘what was’
While I grappled with how to amp-up my own self-care, my heart ached for those who actually had mothers to turn to, but who were isolated from them. By quarantine. By death itself. I began to think about the huge chasm between the realities we were living through, and how badly — and in vain — we longed to feel protected. Looked-after. “Relationship” in a Time of Social Distance
The need for safety and security that’s felt – if we’re lucky – as tiny babies, never leaves us as we age. What’s so remarkable to me is the fact that, even prior to 2020, the beliefs and foundations we thought would always guide us couldn’t anymore. Instead of feeling guardrails, the experience was more like two parents splitting up, neither of whom wanted to take “the kids”, as both adults jettisoned away in crazy, directionless spirals.
As I continue to observe, listen and mull all of this over, I notice that a lot of people seem truly lost and in pain. Not just in a struggle to survive current events; they’re living without the hope that everything will be “ok”. But — what gives me hope is that I’ve also felt and seen others rising up. Random individuals doing and saying what we all need to see, feel and hear, to face tomorrow. A few are in the public eye, but most are not. All ages, races, genders, religions. They’re working quietly, quickly and steadily to ‘nurture’. Making sure we understand and feel the difference between ‘surviving’ and ‘thriving’.
This Mother’s Day feels different. I’m proud of everyone who makes the Leap of Faith when they bring a new life into this mixed-up world…and of those who choose to adopt and nurture the precious souls we know exist in all animals. But in the run-up to 9 May, I’m also honoring in my heart and offering deep gratitude to anyone actively living-out the nourishment our entire world needs right now. Kindness. Compassion. Tolerance. Optimism. Acceptance. Healing. Hope. Love.
Happy “Mother’s” day.